Still Waiting
by The Good Girl
Summary: So am I still waiting For this world to stop hating? Can't find a good reason, can't find hope to believe in...
1. Default Chapter

b Disclaimer- I do not own any of the Degrassi characters. I only own the plot, new characters..etc. So please don't sue me! I still haven't found my pennies yet! ( Yes, I know that line was totally lame, but Stand by me I is my favorite movie, so what can you do?)  
  
b Author Note- My other Degrassi fic. Totally flopped, it was awful. It's called IA Wilted Rose. I just ruined it, so one of these days I will fix it. Anyway, this one is different, and hopefully all of you will like it. So please review!  
  
Chapter One - b The Social Outcast  
  
My heart pounded unpleasantly against my chest as I walked down the halls of Degrassi High, my new school. My biggest fear it seemed was starting at a new school, even though this was my first time. My palms became sweaty and butterflies were uncontrollable in my stomach. I felt sick. I swallowed hard as I made my way into the administrator's office, where an older man stood looking at me. I shyly made my way up to him.  
  
"Hello," I said in a small voice. "Um, I'm Sophia Merendiz. I just transferred and I-"  
  
The man held up a hand to silence me. I closed my mouth. "I'm Mr. Raditch, the principle of Degrassi. I know who you are, you transferred from the states, is that correct?"  
  
I didn't like him. He was cranky it seemed, as he began flicking through some papers, not looking at me anymore. "Yes, that's right. Pennsylvania to be exact." I cleared my throat. He glanced up at me.  
  
"Well Miss Merendiz," he said. "Here. This paper includes your homeroom, schedule, locker combination and the lunch you are assigned."  
  
I took the paper, and glancing at the clock, I realized I only had ten minutes to homeroom. Muttering a quick good-bye I scurried out of the office, and tried to find my locker.  
  
"Hm," I said to myself. "Locker 309. Well that's 209 so only a hundred to go. Great." I wasn't having the best time finding my locker when I ran right smack into someone, sending me flying back, my books falling everywhere. I glanced up at the person, a girl around my age with blonde hair and a belly shirt on. Disgusted with her phony appearance I began gathering my papers. "Sorry," I muttered.  
  
"Watch it hun," she said. "I just got my nails done, and I don't need them scuffed up." She looked at me, smiled, then gathered her books. "I'm Paige Michaelchuk. And this is Hazel and Terri, that's Spinner and Jimmy." She pointed to a bunch of people my age standing behind her. I only slightly grinned. I didn't like these people they seemed snobby. "You must be new."  
  
I really wanted to snap at her, wanted to point out that yes, I MUST be new, being as she never saw me before, but I settled on a small, "Yes."  
  
"Well, see you around-" She stopped.  
  
"Sophia Merendiz," I finished for her.  
  
Paige smiled cheesily, then all of them walked away. I had just remembered that I wanted to ask them where my locker was, but I didn't really feel like talking to them anymore. So I set back to my long journey of finding my locker.  
  
Two minutes later, and three attempts of asking where I was going, I finally found my locker. Glancing at my combination, I opened my locker, dumped all of my books I didn't need into it, and headed to homeroom. I found it much easier, being that it was across the hall. I walked in just as the bell began to ring. I walked up to a oriental woman sitting at her desk.  
  
"Hello," she said, smiling. "I'm Ms. Kwan. I'll be your homeroom teacher. You must be Sophia Merendiz. Take the seat right behind Craig Manning."  
  
I grinned at her. "Thanks."  
  
I walked to the empty seat she had indicated, and plopped myself down. I didn't meet anyone's eyes, I didn't like people. It wasn't that I was some weird Goth person, it was just that I wasn't a people person. Too many things got on my nerves. Brushing a stray, dark curl out of my face, I began seeing what class I had next. I really didn't want to be here, I wanted to run home and cuddle on the couch, reading a great book. I didn't want to be here..It was the last thing I wanted.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I looked up. The guy in front of me was turned around. I was completely perplexed by his beautiful brown hues, and for a moment I must have looked quite dumb. Shaking out of my momentary daze, I grinned at him.  
  
"Hi," I said. I could almost see my reflection in his eyes. They were so big. I wanted to look away, but it was so hard.  
  
"So, what class you have next?" He asked.  
  
"Um, algebra. Urgh, I hate math," I said, allowing the real me to show a bit. I truly did hate math...at my old school I had to be tutored in it. I was horrible at it.  
  
He laughed softly. "It's my favorite. But hey, I have it next too. I'll walk with you there. You're Sophia, right? I could barely hear you, you spoke so low."  
  
I thought I was blushing. "Yeah, well, starting eleventh grade at a new school isn't exactly the best."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah I know what you mean. I started here in ninth grade. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do. By the way, I'm Craig."  
  
I nodded. The bell rang. I grabbed my books and followed Craig out the door. As soon as we got into the crowded hallway, a girl dressed in all black with extremely short, boyish hair came up to us.  
  
"Hey Craig!" She said happily, kissing him on the cheek and taking his hand.  
  
"Hey Ashley," Craig said. "This is Sophia. She just came today."  
  
Ashley eyed me suspiciously, no doubt as if warning me to stay away from her boyfriend. She needn't worry. The last thing I wanted at this school was enemies. I had enough of them at home.  
  
"Hi," I said smiling, as if to reassure here. "Craig was just showing me to my next class."  
  
She seemed to relax. "I'm Ashley Kerwin. Where you going next?"  
  
"Algebra," I said, rolling my eyes. She laughed.  
  
"Cool me too. We better hurry if we want to get there on time, Mr. Gudilikus is so mean."  
  
"Great," I said.  
  
The rest of the day went okay. I found my classes easily enough. Ashley was really nice to me. She told me her old best friend, Ellie Nash, moved away last year, and she had felt so alone. She invited me to sit with her at lunch and I agreed, being that I didn't want to sit by myself. Craig also sat with us, along with some other people I didn't really know. One was named Marco, and then some people I recognized from earlier, Jimmy, Spinner and Terri, came over for a little. I didn't really talk much, and I was too nervous to eat much.  
  
When my final class ended, I was so relieved. I wanted to go home and just forget all about the day. Just as I was walking out of the school, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and grinned when I saw it was Craig.  
  
"Hey," I said.  
  
"Hey," he said. "So, how do you like Degrassi?"  
  
We began walking. "I dunno, it's okay I guess."  
  
"It'll get better. So, where do you live?"  
  
"Um, just around the corner. On Fifth Avenue."  
  
"Cool, I live on Cellar Drive, which isn't too far away, I'll walk with you."  
  
I smiled at him. It was nice to have someone to walk with for once. We just chatted casually, I told him about my old school, why we moved here, my mom's job was transferred, and he told me about him. I was really enjoying his company when we reached my new house. I said good-bye to him, and walked in the doors.  
  
I didn't really want to call it my home. It wasn't. My real home was back in Ridley, Pennsylvania. The house my mother had decided we live in was an old house, probably from like the 1800's. It was big, and dark. I liked it though. It was cozy. It was cold, however in the house, so as I made my way to the kitchen, I pulled my pea coat closer around me.  
  
"Mom?" No one answered. I figured she wasn't home from work yet. She worked as a nurse, and when the old hospital she worked at closed, they transferred her to here. Why all the way in Canada, I didn't know. My father left us when I was ten, six years ago. It was okay, I didn't really like him anyway. He was an alcoholic.  
  
I went up to my new room, and threw in the first C.D. I found, which was my Linkin Park c.d. I wasn't obsessed with them, but I was addicted to their song, 'Faint.' I turned the volume up all the way and laid down on my bed, just thinking about my life up until now.  
  
When my father left, everything was so much better-mentally. We didn't have as much money anymore, which was hard, because sometimes we didn't even have food in the cabinets. I had an older brother, Garet, who was eighteen. I liked him a lot, he was pretty cool. We listened to the same music and we got along better than my older sister and I did. She was seventeen, and such a prissy brat. She cared so much about what people thought about her, and was so caught up in being the most popular girl at school, it just got on my last good nerve. I didn't like her all that much. She was perfect..Great body, great hair, great clothes..We were so different. She had blonde straight tresses, I had dark, almost black, curls. She was thin, and tall, I was shorter and more curvy. She had bright blue eyes, mine were a darker blue, like a midnight blue. She was so beautiful, I was just..ordinary. I hated that.  
  
I didn't like myself at all. I felt misunderstood..I wanted to be a musician when I got older. Back home I was in my own garage band with four of my friends. I played lead electric guitar, and I was addicted to it. Whenever I was stressed, I just jammed all day. But now my friends were all home, including my best friend, Jeane, and I felt so alone. No band, no nothing. My band was what kept me going. Now I didn't even have that. I was all alone.  
  
I ended up falling asleep on my bed with Rufio blaring in my stereo. I was totally tuned out of the world..and that was how I liked it.  
  
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	2. Void of All Emotion

Author Note - Thank you to all the reviewers. I don't really like updating unless I receive more reviews, but I really love writing, so please, please review! Thank you, Autumn Fairie.  
  
Chapter Two - Void of All Emotion  
  
"Sophia! Sophia wake your lazy ass up, now!"  
  
My eyes fluttered open to the obnoxious voice filling my room. I groggily sat up on my bed, rubbing my eyes, my eyes focused on Kit, my older sister. I grimaced at her appearance. She was wearing tight jeans, a tunic shirt that fitted around her petite waist, and her hair was perfectly straight flowing down her arms. Kit was wearing so much make up, she looked fake.  
  
"What the hell are you doing in my room?" I growled, standing on my bed, raising my pillow, ready to strike.  
  
"Down, tiger, down!" She hissed. "Listen, I met this really hot guy at the mall today, and I have a date! There's just one problem...he's like a total punk! So...I need you to like help me with bands, tell me what kind of 'lingo' you freaks use, that sort."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Get the fuck out!" I screeched, flinging anything I could get my hands on at her. The closest thing I could reach after I had flung all of my pillows at her was my cd's.  
  
"Eeeeeek," she screamed, ducking behind a pillow I had thrown at her, trying to dodge the flying cd's. "What's this one?" Kit picked up the cd that had hit her in that hollow head of her's. "Yellowcard? What the hell is that?"  
  
"Uuuuuuuuurgh!" I screamed. I didn't feel like chancing on breaking my cd's, so next I grabbed my guitar that was propped up against my wall. "You do NOT want me to hit you with this. And I REALLY don't feel like screwing it up, it's brand new. So, I'll give you one last chance. Get. Out."  
  
I was completely annoyed by her. She looked bewildered at me, then finally, she chucked my Taking Back Sunday c.d. at me, turned on her heel, and stormed out of my room.  
  
I sat on my bed, panting, and looking around at the mess I had created. Many of my cds were on the floor and my pillows were all smushed together by the door. I gently put my guitar back, and gathered all of my cd's and pillows. When I had finally finished tiding up, I glanced at the clock. It was almost eight o'clock. I quickly turned off my Rufio cd which was playing for about the tenth time. My head hurt, I had been asleep for so long. My mom was home from work by then, and I decided I better reach her before Kit did.  
  
I walked down the dank hallway, which led to the staircase. I passed Garet's room, and peered in. It was dark, and no one was there. Shrugging, I heard Kit talking on the phone and I rolled my eyes. Did the girl ever shut up? Making my way down the twenty something steps we had, I rubbed my neck. I had a crook in it from sleeping so weird.  
  
When I reached the kitchen, my mother was seated at the table. She was in her nursing attire, the scrubs, and her thick, black curls were tied up in a messy bun, leaving some framing her head. I smiled at her. She was so beautiful, and peaceful, bent over her many papers, scribbling away. I envied her perfect olive skin. I was one hundred percent Latina, but somehow I got the fair skin. Kit was the odd one, with the blonde hair, blue eyes, but she got the perfect olive skin. Garet was tall, almost 6'3, and had light brown hair. He didn't really look Hispanic, but if you looked hard at him, the way his dark eyes glimmered, the way his lips were full, you would realize he was of some different blood.  
  
"Hi mom," I said, sitting across from her. "How as work?"  
  
She looked up and smiled at me. "Hey chica, it was okay. Tiring for a first day. How was your first day of school?" She looked eager, and instead of telling her that I hated Degrassi, I forced a smile.  
  
"It was great. I met some cool people."  
  
"That's great Mija! Well I got to get to work, but you were sound asleep when I got home and I didn't want to wake you. Dinner's in the microwave." She kissed my forehead and went back to work. I felt a twinge of anger as she dismissed me so easily. She was always working just to put food on the table, and hardly had time for Garet, Kit or me. It hurt. But I ate my dinner without any arguments, and went to bed early. I didn't see Garet the whole night, or Kit for the rest. I turned on my, The Starting Line, c.d. and fell asleep.  
  
..........................................  
  
I walked to school the next day. When I had gotten up everyone was gone. I wasn't surprised, they all got up so early. So throwing on a black tank top and plaid red flares, I pulled on my coat, grabbed my bag, threw on my headphones with Finch blaring and tuned out as I walked to school. When I got there, I walked down the halls, still listening to my music, not caring about anyone or anything. I reached my locker, threw my stuff in, went to homeroom, sat down and began scribbling on my notebook.  
  
"Hey Sophia."  
  
I looked up and grinned at Craig. "Hey, what's up?"  
  
"I'm so tired, I was up all night doing homework. You?"  
  
My stomach flopped..homework? I totally forgot. "Urgh, I forgot we had homework. Oh well, I'll cram it in at lunch."  
  
Craig smiled. "Good way to start out school." I stuck my tongue out at him and he smiled. Then the bell rang, and like the day before, Craig met up with Ashley and we all walked to Algebra. 


	3. Finding a Friend

Chapter Three - The Pain Never Ends  
  
Lunch that day was an uneventful period. I sat down next to Ashley again, and I got to know her a bit. She told me all about herself, how she had the perfect life, about the party that changed her forever. I listened in awe. I told her a bit about myself, too, how I used to do some drugs myself, how I used to sneak out when I was bored. She was an interesting person, this Ashley Kerwin. And she listened really good. I liked her.  
  
I didn't talk to Craig much until he caught up with me at the end of the day.  
  
"Sophia! Wait up," he called. I looked at him and grinned. I stood there waiting for him to catch up to me and we both began walking home.  
  
"So," he said. "How was your day?" I looked at him.  
  
"Okay I guess. I dunno, I mean, I really don't like this whole 'starting over thing.' I'm no good at it. I-I dunno. No one really likes me it seems, besides you and Ashley. I dunno, I'm no good at making friends."  
  
Craig nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's not that easy."  
  
I nodded. "So, what are you doing today? It's Friday. You can't just be sitting at home, can you?" I smiled.  
  
He shook his head as he shifted his bag to his other arm. "Nah. I don't have anything planned." I nodded.  
  
"Do you wanna come over or something?" I asked.  
  
Craig looked at me and smiled. "Sure." I grinned back.  
  
"Cool."  
  
We reached my house five minutes later, and I led him up to my room. Dumping my stuff down on my bed I ignored Kit's insessive calls for me.  
  
"Just ignore her, that's my older sister," I said sitting down on my computer chair as Criag took a seat on my floor. "So."  
  
He nodded, looking around. "Yeah, so, what was your life like back in the states?"  
  
I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. "Please, it's nothing exciting. My dad left when I was ten, um, my mom was in rehab for a couple of years, you know, she did heroine I think...my sister Kit had an abortion when I was..say thirteen, so she was fourteen, and my brother Garet got arrested for smoking pot. Those were the major things. But don't worry, that was awhile ago." I grinned at him.  
  
He nodded. "Well, that was interesting."  
  
I felt suddenly guilty. "Hey, I'm sorry for like spilling my life to you just now. It was stupid, you don't even know me."  
  
Craig grinned. "Hey, it's not that bad. I mean, my fucking dad beat me."  
  
I diverted my eyes from his. "Oh, man, I'm sorry."  
  
"No problem. I mean its not like me to just tell people that, but there's just something about you..I dunno." Craig shrugged.  
  
"I dunno either." I started laughing.  
  
"What?" He asked incredulously.  
  
I laid back on my chair and sighed. "I dunno, I'm bored. So, what's going on with you and Miss Ashley Kerwin?" I teased.  
  
Craig smiled. "Bah, we had this 'thing' in freshman year. I dunno, I mean, she's cool and everything, but..I dunno, I just don't get that vibe, you know? So anyways, TECHNICALLY we're going out but I dunno. I don't know how I feel about her. What about you, you have a boyfriend back in the states?"  
  
I sighed. "Urgh...Yeah. His name was Steve. But we broke up when I moved. You know, it was just the good thing to do."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Craig and I chatted for awhile longer, and I found myself enjoying his company. He listened to everything I said, and seemed to understand me. It was crazy, but I felt as if I had known him for my whole life. I found myself confiding in him, and him in me.  
  
I found myself liking Degrassi more and more. Before I knew it, Ashley and I became best friends. Craig and I were close too, he was my other best friend besides her. I really liked him, he was so wonderful..but I wasn't sure if I had romantic feelings for him. I mean, he was going out with my best friend. Sometimes, I felt so stuck. Ashley had Craig, but what did I have? Sure, I had Craig too, but not in the way I wanted..I was so confused.  
  
*End of Chapter 3*  
  
Really, really short chapter, yes I know. But five months have past, so now it's February. Next chapter, much, much more action, more characters, more problems, more home life, etc.  
  
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